Switched (story Of A Fierce Battle Between Desperate Infatuation And True Love)

02 March
Chapter 1
I’ve got smellow friends… more like slies. Jaye thought as he stared blankly at the white emulsion coated ceiling above him. He threw a bemused smile as thoughts of his friends’ various ploys to get him laid or at best betrothed to some silly bimbos came to his mind. He again allowed his not-so-cool smile. He had that smile for things, and people he knew he couldn’t avoid but wish he could.
His friends had been on his neck since forever. “You’re not fit to be called an Ede boy” Adams would exclaim.
Adams believed Ede boys were the sharpest and smartest ones alive or so he was led to believe. David used a different method. He appeased, persuaded and tricked. His two friends made frantic or flaccid effort (depending on what their instincts suggested) to make their own Jay a real player like Okocha but they failed.
Jaye was as confused as a language student who thought Confucius was an adverb to confusion when it comes to girls and relationships.
He knew he would want to be a boyfriend to some girl someday. It was normal. Everyone else did, why not him? He knew he would make a fine boyfriend but some crazy stuff in his head kept creating some solid barriers.
He or perhaps the crazy stuff in his head had deliberately built an unassailable or perceived unassailable fence around his heart. He was not going to fall in love. He was not even capable of falling in water (a body that can be seen) not to talk of an unseen lie (Love).
Talking of unseen, he believed in the existence of many unseen things- intelligence, brilliance and stupidity, enjoyment and many more. Even God, he believed existed- though he had not settled on who was right about him. The Muslims or the Christians or those wise but perceived stupid sages who broke kola nuts and spat schnapps.  But he didn’t believe in love, safe for what he felt or thought he felt for his friends and family. He believed if he dated any girl, the bond wouldn’t last but the girl’s pain would. His conscience would not allow that.
His friends had other plans though. They tirelessly got at him over one Tracy that was beautiful and single, the Lucy who had very nice curves, or the cute Sussy that wanted to meet him.
He deafly threw those offers in their face and without diagnosis, they concluded that he had a twisted mind and seriously needed help. If his friends won’t help him, who will?
Not that they really knew how to help, but they were determined to make deliberate efforts. Efforts that he never appreciated, instead he loathed such efforts and wore his weird smile.
As he laid there on the bed, he stared and smiled at the white ceiling above him. Had the ceiling sight and was mortal, it would probably run.
The ceiling was at the receiving end of the ‘missilic’ gaze from him in return for beautifying his room and controlling its temperature, no thanks to the talk he just had with David. Like always, David had called to lobby for Rihanat’s candidacy. Rain, as she was fondly called was a close friend of Adams. They were more like siblings. Many would even mistake them for a couple if not for her obvious interest in Jaye. Adams actually had deep feelings for her but he knew she didn’t feel same way about him. He decided to forget about it and join hands in efforts to bond her with Jaye. He just wanted her to find happiness even if that meant he would not have her.
Everybody but Jaye knew Rihanat was into Jaye and that fact stood in between a funny and sad surprise to his friends.
David, out of deep concern for his dear friend picked up his phone and called him. Two of you are made for each other. Can’t you see? He asked himself as he searched for ‘Jay’ from the contact list on his iPhone.
“Do you know why Rain has got no boyfriend?” He asked immediately the call connected, foregoing all the courtesy of ‘Hello, how are you?’
“Probably ‘Mr Right’ is getting held up in the traffic jam of life” Jaye prompted spontaneously.
“Or maybe he is travelling the I-will-never-fall-in-love lane.” David replied mirroring Jaye’s voice as best as he could.
“You’re not funny dude.”  Jaye was beginning to detest the course of the conversation.
“You’re damn right. I’m no Bovi or Sheyi Law. I’m so seriously not trying to be funny. This babe is crushing on you dude, why are you blind to it? And she’s dope man, and homely too! Jesus! Don’t ignore her and regret later bro” David was getting and sounding desperate.
“Wow! You’re working so hard. How much did you collect?” Jaye thought it the best not to take the conversation serious.
What a badass!  David exclaimed in his head. “That’s true. I’m working hard. I will not let my friend die a virgin”.
“Good work, bro. Why not set up an NGO that will manifest your quest to get virgins in the world laid. The human race will never forget your nosy concerns.”
The conversation went on. Jaye didn’t agree. David didn’t concur. Rather, they became tired. It was not the first time they would be having such conversation, it always ended in the same manner each time they did.
“Run your mouth like a business if you like, I will simply not fall in love.” Jaye stubbornly managed to say.
“One day you’ll fall in love and remember me, the sage whose mouth run miles of words in your head and you will have no choice than to make me your best man.” David prophesied. In the same style as in the beginning of the conversation, David disconnected the line without a ‘bye, see you soon.’
The call had been over for about 8 minutes but Jaye was somehow still on it, creating mental pictures of the conversation. The more he did this, the more he grinned and stared at the ceiling.
He was so immersed in this that he didn’t notice Adams had entered the room and took a spot beside him on the bed. His conscious awareness only returned when Adams gave him a pat that sounded like a blow.
“That’s too soft for a pat bro. You could have used a sledge hammer.” He groaned.
Adams, who apparently did his things big, broke into a very huge laughter and went on for what seemed like an eternity. When the steam eventually got out of the laughing escapade, he returned in his usual loud voice;
“I couldn’t help that Jaye. You seemed so far away that a sledge hammer would send you just straight on.”
“Oh. Oh! Thanks for sparing my life.” Everybody avoided Adams’ playful but dangerous punches or handshakes or high-fives or ‘chop knuckles.’ His ideas of a play were simply extreme.
“Seriously geez, what’s got you so much that you didn’t notice me come in?”  He asked, lying beside his friend.
“Adams, it’s nothing, just feeling sleepy.” he tried to avoid the subject.
“I know a sleeping Jayzy when I see one. You were wide eyed and grinning.” Adams wasn’t taking the bait.
“Well, I was actually smiling. That stupid David wants me to date Rihanat. Is that not funny?”
“Very funny!” Adams thundered.
“Exactly my point.” Jaye hinted, getting all the sarcasm in the response.
“Well it’s not all funny. I can’t imagine what life would be when Rihanat eventually has you away from us, all to herself.” Adams disappointed him more.
“You are impossible! Seems a meeting is going on behind me. It’s a surprise that you all suddenly have a common ground.” He quizzed in an irritated tone.
He knew his friends. They hardly had a single voice. Everyone was intelligent than the other and his ideas were always the best. It’s rather unfortunate that only an evil cause can bound you. He thought. His friends would even argue on the best method of actualizing the evil goal. Perhaps, they had arrived at this silly games after some crooked debates and agreed that whether by kidnapping a girl or love-poisoning one, or making Jay understand, all that mattered was making sure he ended up ‘normal’ like them.
“Well, we all love and want the best for you.” What a fool you are! Adams didn’t but strongly felt like adding.
“If you really love me, you would not be plotting to rob me of my freedom.” Jaye threw.
The argument seemed like it would never end. Suddenly, as if they were in sync, Adams rose to go at the exact point when Jaye was about showing him the door.
“See you later Jayzy, I have to run.” He was not angry but somewhere in between giving up and bored.
“Alright man, keep fit.”
“Yea, we’ll catch up on Saturday.” Adams said as he struggled with the doorknob.
The door slammed shot and Jaye rolled over the bed with a giant sigh of relief. The wry smile he flashed at the ceiling was not one of happiness, but bewilderment. He surely did not want to go into a relationship but knew he would have to, if not then, certainly someday.
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